It is never easy to watch parents go through a divorce. But what is even harder is dealing with your own feelings, thoughts, and needs during such a rocking event. It can be easy to spiral or neglect the importance of a divorce in your family, but tackling things head on almost always leads to better long-term healing and growth for yourself. Here are a few things that you should know if your parents are divorcing to help you move forward in a positive way and manage your emotions.
It’s Not Your Fault
The first thing you need to know if your parents are divorcing is that it is not your fault. It can be easy to start asking questions when your parents are divorcing, wondering what could have happened that would lead to this. Sometimes, people mistakenly believe that they are the problem, and that if they had been better maybe their parents wouldn’t be divorcing. But it is not your fault. Your parents are not divorcing because of you, they are divorcing because of decisions that they have made. Do not blame yourself. And don’t let anyone else blame you either.
Consider Dealing With It in Therapy
The next thing you should know when your parents are divorcing is that therapy is always an option for you. Therapy is not, as some people think, only for people who have something “wrong” with them. Therapy is for anyone who wants a professional’s help monitoring, understanding, and working on your mental health and your emotional health. Family law cases can be traumatic for everyone involved, children in particular. If you feel like you need someone to talk to, you should broach the idea of seeing a therapist to your parents to get the help you need.
It May End Up Being Positive
The final thing to keep in mind when your parents are divorcing is that perhaps it is for the best. While growing up in a separated household brings its own challenges, if divorcing allows your parents to pursue happiness and fulfillment, it will almost always make things better for the whole family. Divorces don’t always have to be tragic experiences, sometimes they can help relationships and move things forward. Divorcing may allow your parents to get along better after separation and provide parenting to you in ways that they didn’t before.
When your parents are going through a divorce, things can be tough. But they don’t have to be devastating. If you find yourself in this situation, take care of yourself and search out personal understanding!
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